Thoughts and Dreams

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Nope, the man with his slipper is going to be put on hold. I’m just going to concentrate on movie review. So enjoy.

Comeback

i’m back, and ready to kick some ass.

initiative.

what i need is your initiative.

for i am to weary to be the first bit.

i know you are some kind of a cool breed.

and silence is the true nature that you bring.

please please please

what i need is your initiative.

for i am to weary to be the first bit.

Power - Extended Version

This note was written when i sat in my room. It was about 4.00 - 7.00pm, December 29th 2008. The location is my house in Medan, North Sumatera. Events occur in real time.

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I was sitting on my chair, with a warm cup of tea in my right hand and snacks on the table in front of me.
It was not different than any other day when i spent most of my afternoon drinking tea and having snacks while i read comics.
It was a beautiful afternoon, with its golden sun shining through my window. And i was ready to toss down the last bit of my afternoon tea, when something come across my mind. I was stunned, for a second there. As if i was blinded by a powerful beam directly pointed to my eye.
This thing, this thing i want to write is the thing that came out from nowhere. Pop out just like that in my head. Banging the walls inside me, wanting to get out. Finding its way through my vain and finally urge me, someway it can really urge me, to write this.
This thing, a thing that related to power of dominance overwhelmed me. I was petrified by it.

“There’s only two things human need in-not-so-near future. WEAPONS and MEDIA.”, that’s what stunned me for a second there.
So i made up this fictional conversation between my head and my heart. Two sides inside of me that alternately taken control of me and decisions that i made. I picture my head as an rational and logic, and my heart as the opposite. So i can really understand this thing from every angel that i had.
The conversation took place around 4.00-4.30 pm in my room.

I say to myself, “Yes, that could be true.”

“But what’s with the WEAPONS thing?”, my heart said.

“its the ultimate tool of power, you idiot!”, said my head in a harsh manner.

“Oh, that’s why. But power can be obtain not only by weapons right? What happens with negotiation or charisma or cleverness or wisdom? Aren’t those factor also can obtain power?”, asked my heart.

“Yeah, i know they are. But, can’t you see? We’re not living in 40’s anymore. It’s not just the way anymore. We’re living in millenium era. Where weapons productions surpassing the productions of condoms or even socks. Weapons production is much more profitable than producing food nowadays. People now, not only need food for the sake of their stomach, not only need clothes for their body, they need security. And where can people find the right kind of security? Weapons! It makes people feel safe, makes us (as living organisms that actually a part of system that made human a human) safe. It makes people feel secure, so that they can continue to eat and shop for their needs freely and safely. Yeah, i’m not saying that we carry guns to a supermarket just to buy a pack of ciggies. It sure can make the cashier jump out off their chair. But, the thing is we need security. And the factors you said earlier, is just a form of acts before we use weapons.”, explained head.

“Means? How can you say factors i’ve said before just means to use weapons?”, said the heart naively.

“Jeez, see! That’s why we never be as one. Apart from the place we are and the task we carry, i’m at top, you’re down there in your imaginary place. And i’m with my rational and logical way, while you with your right and wrong-dogooder-kind of thing. Anyway, back to the topic. See, you said negotiations right?”

“Yes.”, answered heart briefly

“Ok, negotiations is just a form of acts before using the weapon. Before using the real deal. We negotiate to achieve ultimate decision. That gratified all sides. But, the real thing is we are very eager to use weapons. Deep down we are desperately wanting to see those hot-led coming out from the gun barrel and hit the target, bringing them down to the ground in agony.” said my head.

“My God! You’re acting like we bunch of wild animals. We have norms and human sense, we can’t just clip someone’s limb because we want to. You’re insane!”, said heart with anger.

“Oh,c’mon. It’s not like that. I said deep down inside. Yes, we have norms and everything. But, it’s inside us that matter the most. We want to, but we just can’t. I agree with that.”

“Ok,so what the other factors i told you?”, ask the heart.

“Other factors? There’s just the same. We use charisma to promote the new technology that weapons carry. We use charisma to declare war, to declare the free use of weapons. And most of all, to sell those weapons. We need charisma. And about cleverness and wisdom? Oh, give me a break. We use clever people o make better weapons, to make smarter weapons that can think for itself, that can fire by itself. We use clever people in advancing the technology in weapons we use. Wisdom, is not so different either. We use our wisdom to carefully aim the weapon, so we dont hit wrong guy in the wrong place. We use wisdom so we can carefully count the number of projectile we fire (as for now we still use projectile, because the EMP is still in progress. Developed by the clever people i said before) and be not so extravagant when using them. So you see, yes your factor also has part in obtaining power but the way is now different. We now prefer weapons.”, said the head confidently.

“But, —”, said heart when suddenly the head start to talk again.

“Beside, do you know how much does it cost to make a good charismatic negotiator? A clever guy? And a wise guy?”, said the brain enthusiastically.

“No.”

“They cost a lot of gold. A single charismatic scholar cost about ten to fifteen million dollar. A clever guy cost about the same, ten to fifteen million dollar. A wise guy, they don’t come in cheap and definately in limited stock, cost about 200-450 million dollar a piece. They just cost too much.”, explained the head.

“And your point?”, ask the heart.

“Jeez, you just dont get it! Weapons is much more cheaper! A SIG 550-1 Sniper Rifle from Swiss, with its cutting edge technology and its powerful stopping power cost only ten thousand dollar a piece. And you even get discount if you purchase it in large number and in sale season. The thing is, that they’re cheaper. They’re easier, and they comply to whatever that can trigger them.”, said the head.

“You’re just insane. No human have the heart to kill another.”, said the heart in sadness

“Oh, c’mon. Be serious. It’s only because every human shoot with their head, not their heart. You have no place in human savageness. When it comes to security and freedom, human would do anything beyond what their heart say, even their head.”, said the head.



Now, both of them turn into silence. For a while, the debate inside me stopped. I glance at the clock in my left on the little table before my bed. It shows 5.45 pm. I just sit there for a while, in silence. Writing how i take a look at my clock and how stunned i am still.
From far, i heard a faint sound. Calling my name. A familiar sound i used to hear. I noticed, it was my mom. She’s calling my name. I knew i had to go there. So i ran to the kitchen, and there she is. In her pink polo shirt and her favorite shorts. Her height is no more than my shoulder, her white skin and tied hair was the first i noticed. She eventually turn back, facing me. With a knife in her right hand, and onion in her left. She was skinning the onion, that up to this day i can’t stand the smell. She asked me to get a can in the cupboard on top of her. And so i did. I took that can out, give it to my mother. While gently she said thanks and continue skinning the onion. I bet we had a very big meal tonight.
As i walk to my room, my head was full of those weapons and media thing again. I head to my chair, sit there and start typing. Again. From inside.

“Yo, heart! Still there?”, said the head.

“Yup, always my friend. But, I still can’t believe it. It’s just, wow! I was surprised by the way logic and ratio works. Not like me, i have norms, good or bad, right or wrong, fit or not fit, i have a lot of things to consider before making any decisions. I was just surprise.” said the heart.

“Ha ha, welcome to my world baby. Where everything is just cost, benefit, cost, and benefit.”, laughed the head

“About media? What about it?”, asked the heart enthusiastically.

“Oh, i almost forgot about it. Media, huh? Hmmm,” said the head in murmur,”Where to begin? Let’s just say human need media to promote what weapons can do. Both of them related to each other.”

“How can you say that?”, asked the heart.

“Because they are. Listen, and you better listen it carefully. I ain’t gonna give second explanation, get it?”

“Ok, carry on.”

“Carry on? You think of me as a god damn vehicle or something? Or like a private to you?”

“Jeez, c’mon head. I was just saying. Don’t have to be so mad.”

“Ha ha. I’m kidding man. Ha ha. You know, jokes. Ha ha.”, laughed the head

“Whatever, come on! Continue!”

“Sorry man, after that weapon-power thing i ran out of gas. But, duck that! Let’s continue. So, media as i say before is a construct of how information is delivered. You know, how we get to know what happened in India, or Pakistan, or even Croatia. So, as you can see this media nowadays is not only giving you the information of good things happen to good guy, they also giving you information about bad things happen to poor guy. They not only handing you a good information anymore, they also giving the worst.”, explained the head

“So, what’s the problem? Isn’t that good? That the media are telling us all, telling us the truth?”, ask the heart

“Yes they are, and that’s what i like from them. They’re telling you all about the truth. Media has changed. Media is no longer a place as it used to be. Media is no longer filtering its content for its principle is so noble. They’re so blinded by their pride as the cleanest, neutral force in the world they don’t know what information going in and out. They just hand you over the information, and leaving you valuate the information by yourself.”, reply the head

“It’s good then. It’s what we seek for. The truth, the real deal. And if they (the media) give you the raw data and let you conceive from your own point of view isn’t it what we want. Isn’t it what the human wants?”, ask the heart

“Yes, if we talking about freedom and other things. But, we’re not. We’re talking about power. Dominant power. Human was driven by it, they eat power like tuna sandwich, drink power like energy juice, and they breathe it like their second air. It is what human want the most. Power! Without it, human is not what they supposed to be born. Without it, their life would be empty. Without it, they’re lifeless. They’re useless.”, said the head confidently



Another silent break through. I was stopped. Not because another faint sound my mom made when calling me from the kitchen. Not because the sound of little kids playing around in my yard for my room is facing directly to the yard. Also not because some of my friends calling my cellphone. I was stopped because what i wrote. I don’t believe i just wrote that last line. I can’t believe it’s exactly what my mind think of. I was stopped, for a while back there.
After a five minute break, i went on. Finishing the last bit of this story i made. I head to my chair again, giving a glance to my old clock that sit quietly on the table before my bed in my left. Now it shows 6.45 pm. The golden sun finally set sail in the far west, giving the chance once again to the moon to show its pale face. Now, i sit in front of my laptop with my hands on the keyboard. And i start writing. Again.

“Back to the thing,head! so you’re saying that power is what driven the humans?”, asked the heart

“Yes. And if we connect it to what we’ve been discussing about, Media is just the way to channeled power. Nowadays, media (as we know) is giving you the truth. And they are not easy on that. They feed us with truth, no matter how high is our capacity to see it through. They feed us with war that’s been going on Iraq or Pakistani border or even in Georgia or how the president in some country in Africa genocides his people. Yes, i know its the truth. And yes, i know its some kind of act to represent the truth. But no, it’s not supposed to be the truth. It was supposed to be filtered, it was supposed to be distilled. And yes, i know that what i’m saying here is maybe sound a bit insane.”, said the head

“You are insane. So, do you mean that the truth has to be covered from people?”, asked the heart.

“Yes, in some point.”

“You are completely insane!”

“But, listen first. I got my explanation on this.”

“How?”

“Media was supposed to be filtering the information. Not just gave it away for the sake of freedom and truth. Raw materials in this case information, is given by the media to the people. People digest it,not by water of course. See, people ‘eat’ that information. Especially sushi lovers. Ok, cut the crap. So when people gets smart, they often to interpret the information by themselves. Not just that, people also often gave their ‘digested’ information to others by the means of communicating. Or should i say spreading the word. If the word has spread, then it makes enough probability for other people to start interpret the information. So, can you see the simple physics in here?”, asked the head

“No. Where?”, replied the heart

“Ok, here’s the thing. The simple physics in here is ‘Two things can not be in the same space’. See, when the information gets interpret it makes enough understandings to fill a cookie jar. Now,when the information gets interpret over and over and over and over again it will eventually makes the cookie jar looks like a little bottle of blood sample and breaks right? So what i’m trying to tell you is. The interpretations of the information is going to end up as a possible conflict.”

“Wew, never thought that far before. So you’re saying that interpret an information by that much might end up as a conflict?”, asked the heart

“Yes! That’s what i’ve been trying to say.”

“Well, you got a point there. But, i don’t see any connections to power either.”, said the heart

“Yes they do. That means you still don’t understand what i was trying to explain.”, said the head

“What? Then explain it to me.”

“Listen, i say that media has to filter its content right? Not to just give the truth to people right?”

“Yes, so?”

“In the not-so-near future, these things will happen. Weapons will dominating world politics, and media is the way to legitimize it.”

“Means?”

“It means, jeez! It so hard to talk some logic to you, only with media you can control the world. Have you ever heard some phrases like ‘Whoever take control of information, take control of the world’? Have you?”

“Yes, so what?”, asked the heart

“So, can’t you get the point? It’s by the media they can control the world. Helloooooo?”

“Uhm, now i see the dots.”

“Jeez!”

“Sorry. He he.”, laughed the heart

“So now, we’re facing our own destruction. Weapons are free, and media are there to cover it. They both are the right tools to conquer the world. Chaos is on its way, and we’re here waiting on our couch while eating popcorn.”, said the head

“Wew,that’s harsh.”

“Whatever. Come on! We gotta go. This host we live in have heard too much about us arguing. Time to back to our job.”

“I much more agree in that. Let’s work. See you around head. And don’t make decisions without me. Bye!”, said the heart while it leaves.

“Ok then. Cao!”



You might think i’m going to give a solution in the end of this story but, i don’t. It all because i can’t. I just don’t have the capacity to give you any advice or solutions regarding this matter. I was just plainly explaining my point of view about this subject, and i hope you understand it. Because you know, it’s already hard to imagine my brain talking to my heart not to mention this “english” thing so i hope you just understand.
Now, i stop again. I have come to the end. The fictional conversation within me is over. Leaving me with wild thoughts about what i just wrote. Now, i leaned back to my chair. Finally i finish it, eventhough i still in a blank after what i just did. I look to my left, and there it is. My old clock, standing still and ticking. Loyally giving an update of time. I always love how that old thing tick. And how stunned i am when it shows 7.32pm. I’ve been sitting here and imagining things for over three hours. After i finish this line i’m going out of my room, and draw on some fresh air.
So, what are you doing? It’s finish, no need to continue reading. Sorry for this but, i suck at writing an ending. So, see ya.
Wait a minute, i’ve been looking at the pages and i was shocked. It’s 6 pages long. Ha ha. I must be out of my mind. I finally write again. Ha ha.

i’m back and so does the man and his slipper

The Man And His Slipper (Part 2)

It was eight in the morning when i sat in my office staring at mega buildings in front of me. the view is just plain boring, seriously. below me, streets are over-crowded by yellow cars. people call those things ‘taxi’, i call it ‘annoyances’.

it is a nice office indeed. a big square see-through office. i like big square see-through office. i can see almost the whole city from up here. the room itself is painted sky blue with minimalist design. at my left side the wall was replaced by thick glass. i personally request it. i like when the sun shine on me all the day.

i was looking down at the street when the phone rang.

i pick it up and say, “hello?”

“hi, am i in the middle of something? cause if it is i just can call you later.”, says the soft voice on the other end of the phone.

“no it’s okay. how are you? how’s the flight?”

“i’m fine. i got here safely. still at the office?”

“of course, it’s eight in the morning. where else you expect me to be?”

“ooh yeah,” the she had this little laugh, “i thought it’s 5 pm there, a bit miscalculation.”

i sometimes laugh at her. she always had this “miscalculation”. I’ve known her for six years, and she didn’t change a bit although she looks prettier now.

“so, what time is there?”

“hmm, it’s about 3 pm. by the way, do you happen to know the Franz-es?”

i always like to talk to her. i don’t know why, but i just feel comfortable with her. she also likes to talk things to me. she shares stories of her life, how much she like the sky, her dream becoming a flight attendant, how she get there, her trips around the world while up in the air, she even talked about the day she was accepted as flight attendant all week long in the warm August three years ago. i still remember that.

we talked in the telephone almost two hours long that morning. i don’t even know what she’s saying, i just say ‘yes’, ‘serious?’, ‘and?’ everytime she had a pause. and the talking keeps going. actually i don’t really care about the things she said, i just want to hear her voice. that angelic voice of her.

“hello? you still there?”, she said.

“yes, of course. i was just signing this paper that’s all. where were we?”

and we continue to talk. again, i’m beginning to sink in that angelic voice.